


What Else Should I Be

by alison



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Rimming, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 06:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alison/pseuds/alison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is a giant bag of dicks on his show. Louis understands, but he's still allowed to hate it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Else Should I Be

 

“I'm sorry,” Nick mumbles, crawling into the bed, his body hunched and radiating shame.

Louis looks up, meeting his sad eyes, and turns away wordlessly. He knows by now that Nick never means the things he says on his show, knows it's all an act to mold themselves into the public's perception of them. He knows but he's still allowed to hate it.

“I'm sorry,” Nick says again, quiet and nervous, as he wraps an arm around Louis' waist, pressing against his back.

Louis is also allowed to hate how easy it is for Nick to make him feel better about these things. A couple of words and a well-placed cuddle and Louis' brick and mortar exterior is crumbling every time.

“You're such a prick,” Louis replies, pushing his face into the pillow, hiding from what he knows he'll find on Nick's face.

“You knew that,” he replies, voice whispered.

Of course Louis knew that. From the beginning, he knew what he was getting with Nick, but he's still allowed to hate it.

“Well, pick another fucking target.”

He feels lips on his neck, resting against his skin, and he tries not to shiver at the feeling. He tries to stay strong, not wanting to let Nick win so easily.

“You're always my target,” he says, pressing kisses around to the slope of Louis' neck, up to his ear. “Good or bad, I'm always pointing toward you.”

Louis squeezes his eyes shut, feeling bits of the wall start to crumble and chip away. When Nick's hand pushes up under his shirt, palm pressing against his stomach, Louis feels it fall away faster. The public antics don't make him feel any less safe under Nick's hands.

“Look at me,” he pleads, bumping his nose against the skin behind Louis' ear.

Louis drops a hand over Nick's, the fabric of his t-shirt separating them. He takes a deep breath, trying to recover his resolve, but it's useless. He finally turns, letting the hand on his stomach slide around to his back as he does. Nick's eyes are still a little bit sad, but he smiles gently as Louis looks up at him.

“Hi.” He slides his outstretched hand up Louis' spine and Louis' eyes flutter as he shifts closer.

“I hate you,” he replies stubbornly, if only to counteract the way he physically melts into Nick's touch.

Nick stares for a long moment, moving his other arm up between them so he can trace Louis' jaw with his thumb. He stares and Louis melts more, feels his walls crumble faster. It would be embarrassing if it wasn't Nick.

Finally, the older man leans in slowly, his eyelids falling as he presses into Louis, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss that no one in the world would suspect. He guesses that's the whole point of all of this. Make the public believe they aren't who they are, keep this thing just for them.

“I'm sorry,” Nick whispers again between the steady press of lips, warm and soft where they meet.

Louis reaches up to pull Nick closer, parting his lips and sighing as the older man tugs on his bottom lip, gentle nips at the flesh. He loves the way they feel together, the way they just fall together like this. He just wishes these moments weren't divided by harsh words and low blows, attempts to keep up appearances.

“Make it up to me,” Louis says, pulling away from the kiss and looking up into Nick's eyes expectantly.

Nick hesitates, clearly unsure of what he means, so Louis reaches down to pull at the hem of his shirt, sliding it over his head and dropping it next to him. At that, Nick nods and rolls Louis onto his back, pushing himself up over the younger boy.

“Anything you want,” he mutters, dropping down to kiss Louis' chest.

Louis' eyes close as Nick kisses over his skin and he feels warm, hands on his waist, holding him steady. He feels safe, always does with Nick.

“Mouth,” Louis requests, knowing Nick will understand.

He does understand and he slides down, pressing a trail of kisses over Louis' stomach, left there like he can still feel them tingling on his skin. His boxers are slipped down by a finger hooked into the waistband and Louis lifts up enough to let them slide off completely, thrown aside carelessly. Nick looks up, palms pressed against the sides of Louis' hips, and he continues the trail of kisses, nuzzling his face into the soft hair at the base of Louis' cock.

Lips press lightly along his half-hard length, up to the head, and Louis' mind spins at the feeling. He swells quickly under the touch, desperate for more than just those light kisses. And, since this is an apology, Nick doesn't tease him much longer, pulling Louis into his mouth and letting him feel it. Louis' head drops back against the pillow, his legs spreading as Nick starts sucking properly. He's always been so good at this. He knows just what Louis likes.

It's for that reason that Louis isn't entirely surprised when he feels a finger slide down past his balls, between his cheeks, touching him lightly. Louis still shudders at the feeling, though, spreading himself even wider to give Nick permission.

“Do you want it inside?” The older man asks, sliding off of Louis' cock for just a moment.

“No,” Louis breathes, electric currents pumping through his body alongside his blood. “Do the thing I like.”

He receives a few more heavy swipes of Nick's lips along his cock before they're gone and Louis' legs are being pushed up, folding his body. And then he feels a gentle lick over his rim, a fleeting touch before it's just warm breath spilling over the sensitive skin. Louis releases a shaky moan, more breath than anything.

“God,” Nick mumbles before pressing in again.

Louis tries to keep his head on as Nick licks, his tongue flicking over the rim expertly. Louis had never let anyone do this to him before Nick and he's not sure anyone else could do it nearly as well. He tries to limit himself with it, like cake when you're trying to be healthy. He can't let himself have it every time, but when he does take it, he enjoys it that much more.

“Fuck,” Louis moans out as Nick's tongue dips inside him, wiggling its way in.

Louis is panting as Nick licks him open, the warm tongue and hot breath mixing over his skin. Soft lips replace the wriggling tongue just often enough for Louis to be kept on the edge, a flurry of sensations making warmth pool at the pit of his stomach.

Just when he's about to reach down to grab his cock, Nick moves up, swallowing him down again and Louis grunts as the man slides his mouth around him, licking him wet. He bobs up and down a few times, finger lightly touching his now-wet hole again, and Louis doesn't even have time to warn him. Suddenly, his orgasm hits and he comes into Nick's mouth, body jerking as he releases.

It takes the wind out of him, unexpected and strong, and Louis searches for Nick's hand as he comes, tangling their fingers together where Nick is holding Louis' leg back. When he finishes, he doesn't let go, holding onto that hand, pleased when Nick holds on just as tightly.

His legs are slowly lowered and Nick crawls up Louis' body, dropping beside him. Louis almost laughs, realizing the man is still fully dressed, jacket and everything, and Louis is completely bare, head swimming from his orgasm. Instead, he pulls Nick in by the lapels of his jacket, eyes closing as he measures his breath. He kisses him gently before dropping his head back onto the pillow, prying his eyelids open to stare up at him.

“I love how much you love that,” he says quietly with a hint of a smile that Louis knows isn't teasing.

Louis smiles back lazily, nodding. “I love it,” he replies simply.

“Me too,” Nick says, smiling growing warmer.

They lie together for a few minutes, Louis wrapping his naked body around Nick's clothed one, forgetting about everything except for this moment. Soon, though, he hears his front door open and he lifts his gaze to meet Nick's, confused. Within seconds, the person is knocking twice on his bedroom door.

“Louis?” Harry's voice calls through the barrier.

“Yeah?” Louis answers, knowing Harry must know Nick's in here, too, from the car in the drive and the closed door. If he didn't know, Harry would already be inside of the room.

“Did he fix it?”

Louis smiles, idly running his fingers through Nick's hair, the older man rolling his eyes a bit and pushing his face into the pillow.

“He's working on it,” Louis responds, kissing Nick's forehead.

“Good,” Harry replies happily. “Nick?”

Nick's eyes roll again as he turns his head halfway toward the door. “Yes, Harry?”

“This isn't the sort of thing that a blowjob will fix, okay?” Harry says, voice muffled.

Louis laughs silently at how well their friend knows them.

“He may say it's fine now, but when you leave, he'll get sad again. You need to do something bigger this time.”

Nick doesn't turn back to Louis and Louis can see him thinking, the creases by his eyes displaying his concern.

“Do you have a suggestion?”

Louis can hear Harry scoff through the door and he nearly laughs again.

“Figure it out yourself,” he says. “Just make it good. You owe him.”

Louis can hear him retreating and he pulls Nick back into him, forcing him to turn to face Louis again. Nick seems thoughtful as he settles his gaze on Louis, his lips curling up just a bit.

“Do you ever think about how weird it is that he's so involved in our relationship?”

Louis breathes out a laugh, nodding. “Yeah, but he cares about us. Plus, we do need the help sometimes.”

Nick shrugs, dipping his head down to hide his smile, and Louis thinks about all of the times in their history that Harry has saved them from a catastrophic breakup.

“So, I guess I need to do something big,” Nick mumbles, rolling on top of Louis, straddling the boy's bare hips. He traces Louis' ribs with his fingertips, then down over the patch of fuzz below his belly button, in deep thought. “Can't take you on holiday because you love actually getting to stay home when you're able to,” he mumbles, mostly to himself. “Don't suppose you'd care much about a fancy dinner. And you don't seem the type for flowers and candy.”

Louis grins, poking Nick in the stomach. “See, that's where you're wrong. Love candy, don't I?”

“Yeah, but not as a romantic gesture,” Nick replies, pinching Louis' side.

Louis rolls his eyes, pulling Nick down and rolling them over, straddling him instead. It should be awkward sitting naked on top of a fully clothed man, but Louis lost his awkwardness around Nick long ago.

“Listen, I get it,” he says, sitting back where Nick has bent his knees up in the air, supporting Louis' bum with his thighs. “You talk about Harry all the time because you want everyone to know you're dating a terribly attractive and famous pop star, but you don't want them to get to close to the actual truth of it, so you deflect all that to Harry. Because you and I, that's real to you and you don't want everyone to see that because it's none of their business. So you pretend to hate me and let people think you're fucking Harry and I get it. Trust me, I like keeping this for us, too.”

Nick stares up at him, almost in awe, and Louis smiles, rubbing his thumb over Nick's knuckles, where his hand is resting on Louis' thigh.

“I get it but I fucking hate the way you talk about me. Even when you're not saying anything, it's like I'm a big fucking joke to you and your coworkers and it fucking sucks to listen to that,” he says softly, trying to keep his gaze on Nick, not wanting to look away. “From now on, you have to warn me, okay? If me-bashing is on the agenda, warn me and remind me that it's an act because I hate being caught off guard like that.”

Nick frowns below him, propping himself up onto his elbows. “Babe,” he says softly, the syllable choked off, like his throat is closing up. “Fuck, I'm such an idiot.”

Louis smiles sadly, nodding. “Yep,” he agrees quietly.

Nick rocks forward, sliding Louis back a bit so he can sit up properly, and Louis has lips on his before he can blink.

“No more you-bashing,” he mumbles, holding Louis close to his chest, hands roaming over warm skin.

Louis knows that Nick will find it hard to keep that promise, but he agrees anyway, nodding into the kiss.

Later, when Nick's finally just as naked as Louis and he's deep inside the younger boy, he'll whisper something, something big. And it will definitely be better than a blowjob.


End file.
